


Comforts and Contrasts

by scarlettholly



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy birthday Dia! sorry in advance!!, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28470240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlettholly/pseuds/scarlettholly
Summary: “How different are we?”“A lot, I guess.”Dia comes back home as a failure who couldn’t make it in Tokyo. Strangely, she finds some relatable solace in Yoshiko.
Relationships: Kurosawa Dia/Tsushima Yoshiko
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	Comforts and Contrasts

Bullet trains move at speeds of 130 to 320 kilometers per hour, hurling their passengers towards distant stations all across Japan and connecting people. They efficiently carry people to the destination of their dreams, or back to familiar comforts.

For one passenger, who was sitting at the window seat staring listlessly as the scenery raced by only to be forgotten a moment later, no good reason could be found.

Dia forced herself to blink, breaking her trance from the hypnotic fields, trees and buildings that were blurring into one as they dashed past. The last time she had ridden one of these was much more exciting. Kanan was there, casually chatting about their dreams of staying in Tokyo. Dia had been so hopeful back then, sold on ideas of grandeur and the hope that if she just pushed hard enough, something was sure to give.

In hindsight, she should have guessed it would be her that broke before the world.

Going back home was never fun but this was the truth Dia now had to face, however dauntless. She’d tried to lie and fight it, giving Kanan little choice other than to watch her slowly spiral downward. Things were bad; Dia knew that, but it wasn’t till everything was brought into the blinding light of someone who actually cared, that everything dawned on her.

That was when Kanan made a call that, if you’d asked Dia, she had no right to make; she all but forced Dia to go home. Now Dia rode this train to greet a failure she had tried so hard not to meet.

Everyone has some expectations placed on them by those who want to see them succeed. They want to see everyone do well. If you prove yourself capable, these expectations only increase until they find that tipping point. 

The Kurosawa family was a little more pressuring than most, but that didn’t bother Dia. After all, Diamonds are formed under intense pressure as carbon turns to crystals. It gave Dia that drive for more and was what allowed her to shine, to achieve, to rise and push everything upwards.

At least that was how it should have been.

The train came to a stop and Dia quit her melodramatic introspection. She was back in Numazu now and had to focus. The familiar distant cold that she called home wasn’t far. Dia knew she would have lots to do in order to prove herself once again after her failure.

There was a sense of reserve emanating from the front door and when she finally reached to open it, Dia faltered. Instead she knocked and waited. The quiet and muffled sound of someone rushing to answer rang out before the door swung open and Ruby let out an excited squeak.

“Dia!”

She was pulled into a soft embrace that felt suffocating. Forcing herself to chuckle, Dia addressed her sister. “Hello Ruby… May I come in?”

Ruby stepped back quickly, staring nervously. “Y-yes. Uhh, father wants to speak to you…”

A nod was all Dia gave. This much she had expected; there was no way such a mistake would go unnoticed. Coming inside, she decided to face it head on. After all, that was the best way to tackle any problem. Well, it was what had always worked up until now.

Coming to meet her father, Dia waited, trying to judge the situation.

He spoke first, his voice hollow. “Dia, I’m happy to see you got home safely. Was the journey alright?”

“It was.” 

A few seconds ticked by, each one made her heart beat even faster. Her father seemed perplexed for a moment, considering something before deciding not to bring it up. “I had the maid clean and prepare your room.”

“Thank you.” Dia bowed her head. 

“Do you have your things?”

“I brought everything I need,” Dia answered back, a hopefulness in her tone that said something like ‘look, I’m being practical and organised even now, be proud of me!’ which was only to be met with nothingness.

He quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that?” 

“I didn’t have much…” Her dorm room was always practically unfurnished and empty. One potted plant, a Kentia palm, was probably all that would miss her and even then, it would fall into Kanan’s care like the few other things left behind. It probably wouldn’t notice she was gone. Maybe Kanan would treat it better.

“I see…” 

The disinterest hurt but Dia pushed it away. She excused herself, heading up to her room where Ruby was waiting. She had taken Dia’s bag up for her and smiled nervously, looking like she wanted to offer help. When Ruby saw the crestfallen mess that was her sister, she backed down like the coward she had tried so hard not to be. She left Dia to her melancholic solitude.

Rhythmically unpacking, Dia found some comfort in getting organized. After all, maybe if she did it enough her life would no longer be in shambles. Things like her hairbrush found their old places; when staring at them she could feel their disappointed stagnation.

Moving around her room, Dia spotted a rolled up black and red plaid pattern blanket. It had been one of her favorites and leaving it behind to move to Tokyo had pulled a little at her heart. However, she had gladly said goodbye in pursuit of her dreams. Seeing it now made her feel even worse.

She wrapped it around herself, feeling the soft touch of fabric against her skin. Her hope sank even more. Curling up on the floor, the blanket weighing down on her heavily, Dia stalled. She stayed there in that state for a little while, until eventually she found the strength to carry herself to the bed. Closing her eyes, Dia wondered hopelessly how she was ever going to make up for this failure. 

Sleep gave her mind some rest before she was awoken by a nightmare. Tensed up, heart beating fast, Dia reached over at her nightstand for her phone only to find it wasn’t there. She sat up, willing herself to calm down as she searched. The room was still light… How long had she been asleep for? Spotting her phone on the floor by the blanket, Dia walked over to see a message from Kanan.

_ ‘Hey Dia home yet?’ _

She wanted to type a reply but just couldn’t. It frustrated her as she put her phone in her pocket and headed to her mirror. Tidying herself up and making sure her composure returned to the perfect way she had practiced so much, Dia was ready to face her family again.

This time was less gentle, and the question everyone was dancing around was asked.

“What happened?” Her mother’s voice was wavering between sorrow and affection. “You suddenly told us you were coming home and you never said why.”

“I don’t know why,” Dia answered truthfully. It was all that she could offer at this time. 

Honesty was supposed to be the best policy but with people like her family that want better than perfect… It wasn’t enough. Ruby was in the corner, looking more like an ornament than a member of the family. Her gaze was downcast and she didn’t say a word.

“What about your course…?”

Dia’s shoulders sunk. “Kanan said she would ‘sort it’ for me…”

Her father chimed in on the conversation. “This was a big opportunity Dia… A real chance for you to make something of yourself.” Confusion, pity, and disappointment practically radiated from him. “And you don’t even know why?”

Everything stayed silent.

Her mother and father looked between each other before dropping the subject. It lingered potently in the air, causing a static and buzzing in Dia’s ears that was almost overwhelming. She would break down, cry and beg them to forgive her for failing if that would help - but such a disgusting moment of weakness would only cause more grief. 

The day continued. Nothing more was said.

As it turned to night, Dia found herself looking out at a cloudy black sky as she sat alone in the dark of her room. She told herself tomorrow would be better, but she had little faith that it would. Forcing herself to get ready for bed, Dia laid her head down once again and tried to not think about anything.

Sleep didn’t come as easy but this time, no awful nightmares tortured her and she awoke the next morning somewhat restless.

The heavy air still filled the house, almost choking Dia. She went outside to get away from it, only to find she was being haunted by the atmosphere. Quietly cursing, Dia walked anyway, wondering what she could find in the town she had tried to leave behind.

The answer came as a rather dull nothing of interest. 

It had grown late before Dia even realized that instead of home, her legs had carried her further into the town and down by the docks. The boats made her think of You and the other second years. Briefly her lips curled up into a slight smile as recalled some memories and wondered how they were.

It was almost peaceful until she heard someone’s shout across the silence.

“Oh come on!”

Searching for the source, Dia was confused to spot a face she hadn’t expected to see again. There was Yoshiko, picking up something that had been dropped. Even from a distance it seemed broken and as Dia walked closer, her suspicions were confirmed. A crystal-like glass ball that had shattered into a million pieces.

“Yoshiko-san?” Dia asked.

“Aaa!” Yoshiko screamed in surprise before she recognized it was Dia. Her eyes narrowed. “Dia-san...?” 

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Yoshiko remarked, going back to hopelessly picking up shards. “Curse my unlucky fate!” As if to prove a point, she cut her hand on one of the sharp edges and cried out in pain. In the low light, Dia could see the blood start to roll down her finger before Yoshiko sucked at it.

“You should give that proper medical attention.”

The answer was a glare before Yoshiko ignored her, continuing to pick up the glass, albeit much more carefully. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Tokyo?” Yoshiko asked.

After a few more moments of watching her try to clean up the mess she’d made, Dia decided to help. “I should be…”

“Then why are you here? Did something happen?” 

“Did…” Dia stalled for a moment, wondering why exactly Yoshiko was asking this. “Did Ruby not tell you?”

Yoshiko sighed. “We don’t talk that much now.” 

“Oh.” She really had no idea how that could have happened. They’d been such good friends. “Well I’ve come home for good now…”

“Tokyo didn't work out?” Yoshiko asked as she finished picking up most of the glass, staring at it hopelessly before looking around for a trash can. Dia pointed to one she had spotted on one of her previous strolls and the two walked to it in silence. Once there, Yoshiko dumped the glass into it and grinned. “Well being a failure’s not that bad.” Her voice purred with a pride that was disconcerting.

“What would you know about that?”

There was a moment of pause between the both of them, Yoshiko blinked before gesturing vaguely to herself. “Have you met me?”

“Yoshiko…” Dia’s demeanor softened a little. She wanted to tell her that wasn’t true but couldn’t.

“Whatever,” Yoshiko mumbled under her breath. 

Leaving it at that, Dia’s mind was drawn back to the situation at present. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was… You know what... It doesn’t matter.” Yoshiko brushed everything aside before smirking. “Hey, now that we’re both failures, we might not be so different after all.”

Dia despised where this conversation was going. “Don’t call me a failure.”

“You get used to it,” Yoshiko spoke, once again with a strange sense of pride. However, it flickered when she saw how upset Dia was. Taking a step closer, Yoshiko took her hand. “Come with me. Let’s hang out for a bit.”

“What?”

“It’ll make you feel better, for a little bit. Trust me.”

Tentatively, Dia agreed; the idea of feeling better was tempting. Before long she was pulled along to Yoshiko’s home which was strangely empty. Devoid of any personality or feelings of familiar comfort. As they walked through Dia saw it as barren and bare like a cookie cutter apartment. It felt familiar to her, much like her Tokyo dorm.

It was late, so where was her family? Now Dia thought about it, the topic had never once come up between them.

Yoshiko brought her into her bedroom. It was cluttered, objects strewn about with little care. Clearly, it hadn’t been cleaned in a long while. Very messy. Dia had to fight the urge to want to sort things as Yoshiko sat down on her bed, patting the spot next to her.

“So…” Yoshiko started. Dia sat and waited. “Tell me what actually happened. I’m not going to judge.”

“Kanan said Tokyo was killing me and I ended up coming home and now I'm the failure of the family.” Things stilled for a moment, Yoshiko’s face fell. She moved closer, resting her head on Dia’s shoulder. It was kind of nice, a lingering moment of distant comfort, though Dia couldn’t understand why any of this was happening. For some reason she was here with Yoshiko in a silence that invited her to talk more. “I thought I could handle it all…”

“Guess not.” Yoshiko turned to look at her, sympathy and compassion etched into her features. She stared into Dia’s eyes, hesitating for a moment as a blush started to appear on her cheeks. That flushed reaction gave her true thoughts away instantly and it was almost amusing to Dia. 

“You thought about kissing me… Didn’t you?”

“N-no!” Her face turned even more red as Yoshiko stuttered in embarrassment.

Moments of weakness lead to decisions that Dia wouldn’t normally make as she desperately searched for someone’s approval in place of her parents. “You can, if you want.” 

“Really?” Yoshiko narrowed her eyes, waiting a moment before moving further away. “You know, I think that would be a shitty thing to do to you now… or ever really. You deserve better than someone like me.”

“I thought the Fallen Angel was a force to be reckoned with?” Dia asked, trying to keep out the hint of melancholy in her tone.

“I… Kind of completely dropped the persona stuff a few months ago.” Yoshiko scratched behind her head. “I’d been doing it since kindergarten and you know, sometimes I actually believe it but…”

Dia stared at her for a moment, thinking those words over and over, not being able to comprehend what they meant. “You actually believed it?” 

“I think I’m a little fucked up.” Yoshiko grinned, even doing one of her hand gestures. She spoke like it was a joke because she didn’t like this being taken seriously which it probably should be. “You don’t want someone like me to kiss you. I know you think you’re a failure now but... you aren’t one. A few months will go by and you’ll be doing something new. Probably something better.”

“You really think so?” Dia asked, hoping to believe she could make something of herself again. Though the first part of Yoshiko’s words bothered her. “And don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Yoshiko waved her hand idly. “Point I’m making is you can do whatever the fuck you want. So don’t waste your breath lingering on failures.”

Moving forwards, Dia pressed their lips together. Yoshiko hesitated but despite her surprise, kissed back. Dia, wanting so much more, went to deepen the kiss. Things tensed for a moment until Yoshiko let her. A few seconds passed by and Yoshiko pulled away, her myriad of expressions unreadable aside from a hint of guilt that shimmered in her eyes. Dia trailed after her, needing the comfort her gentle soft kisses would give. Yoshiko let her steal one more before sighing.

“You’re not a failure.” Dia pressed her point even more, shuffling on the bed to get closer again. Part of her felt terrible, knowing she was doing all this to make herself feel better, though the words she used were what she actually thought. “I mean it. You’re not.”

“Whatever.” Yoshiko gently pushed her away. Things seemed to stall and Dia felt her breath hitch. She wondered restlessly if she had just made another mistake and ended up using the one person who seemed to understand her. That one word hung in the air as Yoshiko seemed to grow more disheartened. Yoshiko broke the silence with a sharp sigh. “Now, you should go home.”

Dia chewed at her lip, not wanting to go and aching for more but knowing she should leave. Eventually she nodded. Going home was what Kanan had been advising her to do the entire time. “And figure out what I need to do next-”

“No.” Yoshiko cut her off, shooting a harsh glare. “What you  _ want _ to do next.”

“I…” Dia faltered a little. “I don’t even know what that is.... I’ve just been doing what my family wants me to for so long.”

“Geez, I didn’t expect you to have an identity crisis like,  _ right now. _ Falling from grace hurts, doesn’t it?”

Dia stared for a moment, considering Yoshiko’s words over and over. “You asked me this before but now I’m thinking about it and…” The fallen angel metaphor was strangely fitting. “How different are we?” 

“A lot, I guess.” Yoshiko spoke with a shrug, hardly interested in figuring out the answer despite having asked it as well. It didn’t sit right with Dia, who was reckoning they maybe have more in common than what first appeared. She opened her mouth to speak but Yoshiko’s burning gaze shut her up. “We’ve got a few similarities. Ambitious failures who suck at actually connecting to people… but you’re so much better than I am at everything that comparing hurts.”

“Yoshiko…” 

“Look, Dia, I don't want your pity. You should go and in a few months time I want to hear about something crazy and amazing you’ve accomplished, alright?”

Somehow Yoshiko’s faithful words had managed to waver the disheartened state Dia found herself in. It hit harder than expected and as she started to tear up, Dia remembered a principle she always tried to follow: She wanted to rise and push everything upwards as she went. Leaving Yoshiko behind didn’t seem right.

“Fine,” Dia said. “One condition.”

“What?”

“I want you to try too.” Dia moved closer again, taking Yoshiko’s hand in hers. “It’s no good if you don’t get somewhere as well.”

Yoshiko laughed, turning these words over in her mind. A blush grew on her face as she met Dia’s gaze. “Will you kiss me again once we get somewhere?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

**Author's Note:**

> My fave thing about this was sliding in a salt of the earth quote-
> 
> Anyone who's a fan of my works I adore you tysm - I'm gonna be taking a little break from fic writing but I'll probs still post a few things :>>


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